A to zee of Bengali vocabulary: A fwd mail

[Can never get too much of this. ENJHOY!] ;)
A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkattan
goes and spends a day hard(ly) at work. And if he works for the Waste
Bengal Gawrment, he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have
a tea break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch
at 1, smoke an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep
sitting down at 4 and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!
B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good
bhision. In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the
time.
C is for Chappell. Currently, this is the Bengali word for the Devil,
for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to
sleep saying, Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.
D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient
law every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have
a Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called
Deb, Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti,
etc. thrown in at times.
E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous
by Aishwarya Rai in Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a
Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year.
Ei Morechhey is a close second to Eeesh.
F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and
are a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish
market has such strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a
fish is all right. If not, he will say 'eeesh, what feeesh is theesh!'

G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like
Debashish or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla
Laltu, Paltu, etc. While every Bengali girl will have pet names like
Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku , etc.
H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take
four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The
Bheatles!
I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill
any ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!
J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his
Jhola. It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings
and he fits an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this
there are 2 million jholas bobbing around Kolkata- and they all look
exactly the same! Note that Jhol as in Maachher Jhol is a close
second.
K is for Kee Kaando. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation
till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent
is trying to hire Bipasha Basu).
L is for Lungi---the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage
to play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip
in the morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi
expedition to Mt. Everest.
M is for Minibaas. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would
effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond
stuntmen as well as Formula 1 race car drivers.
N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most
interesting naked word in any language!
O is for Oil.Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure
anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to
cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)
P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the
Kolkattan. Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two
biggest clubs there are Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play,
the city comes to a stop.
Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or
Kolkata, but it's the only Q word I could think of at this moment.
There's also Quilt but they never use them in Kolkata.
R is for Robi Thakur. Many many years ago, Rabindranath got the Nobel
Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they
are to frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly
related to the great poet and walk with their head held high. This
also gives Bengalis the birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai
and of course 'all non- Bengawlees'! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a
close second !
S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer
and a captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until
he is 70 years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in
good form by doing a little bit of joggo and æmaanot.
T is for Terams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata.
Of course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.
U is for Aambrela. When a Bengali baby is born they are handed one.
V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people
around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves,
shout and scream and curse and abuse, ôChherey De Bolchhiö but the
last time someone actually hit someone was in 1979.
W is for Water. For three months of the year, Kolkata is under water,
and every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by
surprise by this!
X is for XÆmas. It's very big in Kolkata, with Park Street fully lit
up and all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.
Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali
(see R for Robi Thakur).
Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone.
? all good things must come to an end!